May 25, 2008
Traumatized
Posted by dlin under Blogging, Inside my head | Tags: rushing, stray dog, tragedy, traumatized |[3] Comments
I CAN’T seem to stop thinking about that other day. It was AWFUL. I really want to forget about it, but that thought and image keeps on coming up in my mind. I guess if I blog about it and clear my mind, I will feel better, so I’ll just give it a try.
It’s a Thursday morning and we’ve got a few minutes before the second bell rings. We’re on the road, rushing to get to school. Going downhill, I see a dog. A stray dog in the streets running around and is indecisive about where to go. As we pass the car in front of us, the dog dashes right in the middle of the street. I hear the penetrating screech of the breaks. I feel the seat belt holding me back from flying out. The car comes to a sudden stop. My heart stops for a second and then beats rapidly. I drown my face into my hands. NO, I said to myself. This can’t happen. No, it’s a mistake. Quickly, I look back as we accelerate and go on. I see the cream white stray dog limp its way to the other end of the road. I take a deep breath and sigh.
This was the start of my Thursday. I tried not to let this incident come up in my mind so that I would be concentrating on school work. But that task is incredibly hard. Yes, there were a few times when I wasn’t thinking about it, but there was always something that would trigger it and then I would start thinking about it again. It was such a shocking experience. Even though this poor dog is still alive, it kind of left a stain on my heart. I feel really bad, although I wasn’t the one driving. I could have done something and whatever happened to being generous and letting other people-animals-go first? I mean, if we just stopped, let the dog cross the street, and then go on, nothing would have happened. That would have only taken about one minute. I would have rather gotten my third demerit for getting to school late than injure a poor dog. But the past is the past, I don’t think you can change it and the only thing I can do now is learn from other’s mistakes. Every time I pass that place, I look for the dog. But I haven’t seen it since. I truly hope that it’s alright and doesn’t have any broken bones. I blanked out in that moment and I’m really not sure what EXACTLY happened. I was pretty sure the dog was under the car, but I guess it wasn’t and it miraculously got away. I will never forget that moment and I hope it doesn’t haunt me. I feel guilty for some weird reason. I’m so thankful that the dog was still alive. If it wasn’t, I don’t think this post would have existed because I would have been too miserable and I wouldn’t have said a word about it. I noticed that the feeling of seeing a dead dog on the side of the streets is different than believing that you were there witnessing the death, but then realizing that it was alive. Well, before I get too caught up thinking about this until the point that I won’t be able to sleep, this is where I cease to talk about it… ever again I think.
May 29th, 2008 at 8:51 pm
Wow Diana. This is a really good post. I can understand what you are feeling just by reading this post. I’ve had one of those incidents when we were traveling long distances by car and as we went by, we killed a bird that was flying by and a lot of bugs that got stuck all around the license plate. I didn’t really feel bad about it because I never stopped to think about what it would be if I was the bug or the bird. Now after reading this, I guess that my point of view changed about some things. I hope you feel better about it!
-Lee
June 3rd, 2008 at 3:27 pm
Wow, a simple incident, yet a powerful emotion. I understand these types of situations that are abrupt and short for I have experienced this incidents. However, unlike your incident, I never hit the animal in any way, either stopped very roughly or rushed past the animal almost making contact with them. Although I may have not experienced your situation where you actually hit the dog, I have my own thoughts. In your post, you stated that, “I could have done something and whatever happened to being generous and letting other people-animals-go first?” I’m assuming that you feel bad because you were in the situation where you could have done something. But, if stop and think about it, you did not have any power or control over your vehicle thus, making you hundred percent innocent. I understand that you feel bad for just witnessing a near death for a stray dog, but feeling guilty shouldn’t happen. I hope this smooths your pain and hope you don’t feel guilty anymore! Nice post by the way.
August 4th, 2008 at 10:13 am
…The poor dog…alas today’s stray dog problem, especially in Costa Rica, is getting out of hand.
It must have been quite a shock to realize that the hard way, as so many people have (including me). About two years ago, as I went onto the highway (the one on which Multiplaza is on) by car, I looked out of the window, and saw something which paralyzed me to the core. As the car approached the turn-off, I saw a shapeless dark figure crumpled on the side of the road. As the car went nearer, I saw a face so distorted and flattened that it was nearly unrecognizable. But then I saw the snout, and the bloodstained red eyes, and all I wanted to do was look away, but I couldn’t. There are no words to describe what I felt, and what I saw.
What is to blame is human ignorance and cruelty. I find it terrible how ignorant people adopt a puppy when it is all cute and adorable, thinking that it will stay that way, and then, when it suddenly grows, they find that it is a nuisance, and decide to get rid of it by abandoning it on the road.
These dogs then must continue their already emotionally devoid and miserable life by dedicating themselves purely to trying to survive. They must learn to hide in the shadows, as pedestrians kick and abuse of the dogs because of their cruel and sadistical mindset. This takes a toll on them. Have you ever seen a street dog up close? If you manage to get close enough to one, you will notice his fearful eyes, and servile expression. Most street dogs won’t even let you get near them, seeing you as another attacker, and will dash off, tails between their legs.
Most dogs you find on the road have been subjected to this, and (ironically) you’ll find that many of these street dogs are dogs of a fine race, or the offspring of such dogs.
Life as a street dog pounds the spirit away from even the strongest of dogs. At home I have two street dogs, and as happy as they are now, they have never fully recovered from their previous life. Mutt, for example, a black labrador-mix, goes completely mad around food, because at one time, she was starved and whipped by previous owners, and thrown onto the streets. She also flinches whenever you lift your hand, or attempt to pat her, most likely remembering previous abuse experiences.
I must say that I am impressed by the way you feel. Not very many people feel bad about street dogs… most simply regard them as problems. I am glad to see that there are a few people in this planet that care about such lowly creatures. God bless you.